Just for Grins

One of the perks of being a student member of the National Court Reporters Association is receiving the monthly edition of the Journal of the Reporting and Captioning Professions (JRC).  I usually jump to the end of the magazine where they publish funny trial transcripts sent in from court reporters around the country.

I thought I’d share a couple of them here:

KEEP IT BRIEF
Q. All right. Give me a brief overview of the examination. It’s a four-part test?
A. Yes.
Q. What are the four parts?
A. Part one, party two, part three, part four.

TIME TO RECONSIDER
Q. Have you ever, for instance, been to see or been evaluated by a psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor?
A. No.
Q. You ever been to any type of counseling?
A. No.
Q. Okay.
A. Well, not yet.
Q. Okay.
A. But after you get through with me. I’ll probably have to go straight there.
Q. Well, I hope not.

DEFINE YOUR TERMS
Q. Well, I will quote from your part of your counterclaim. This is line number 38. It says defendant made material misrepresentation of fact. And I’m trying to find out what material misrepresentation of fact did she make?
A. I don’t understand what that — I mean, what that exactly means.
Q. Well, this says defendant made material misrepresentation of fact. The representation was false, that representations was made with knowledge of its falsity and made recklessly without any knowledge of the representation’s truth and as a positive assertion, the representation was made with the intention that the representation be acted on. The plaintiff relied on the representation. The plaintiff suffered damages as a proximate result of said false and fraudulent representations.
A. Okay, in layman terms, are you — I guess what you’re trying to ask me is, did she tell you a bunch of bullcrap, yes. I mean that’s pretty much what she did.

THE END
Q. Can you tell me anything else?
A. The weather is beautiful today.
Q. Anything else with regard to this subject matter?
A. No, sir.

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3 Responses to Just for Grins

  1. Jill-O says:

    I’m so proud of you for trying something new, then figuring out it was time to try something else new. And having the balls to write about the entire process! You are amazing!

    Love, Jill

    P.S. This made me happy:
    Q. Can you tell me anything else?
    A. The weather is beautiful today.

  2. Superlegal says:

    Ha! Thanks for the laugh!

    It’s amazing what people say regardless of the “under oath” caution. Depo and trial transcripts can be so fun. My favorite quote from a transcript to date is “He likes geography, so he has a large collection of guns.”

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